You wanna put your good news in your pocket around them

Whenever something amazing happens, it is important to savor the moment for as long as you can. Since we know that happiness is not something that comes to us but something we have to take, we need to make use of all the help we can get. Sometimes, help comes in the form of amazing events which make it a lot easier to be happy.

If your goal is to maintain your happiness, there are certain kinds of people who might make it difficult:

 

People who do not get it

There are people who just do not understand why such news is good or what the big deal is. You probably do not want to go all excited to a friend, spend 15 minutes telling him/her about an awesome experience you had and then after all that time, they just stare at you blankly like “I don’t get it”. Sometimes, it’s not their fault. I mean, someone who never had to look for a job may not understand why you are so excited that you did well on an interview.

If you ever do not understand why someone is happy, think about something that happened to you that made you happy and imagine that’s what they are talking about. Easy, right?!

 

People who somehow make it about themselves

This kind of people either ignore what you are saying and start talking about themselves or let you know that it could easily be them with the good news if only they had the same opportunity you did. This may or may not be true; however, you do not need such negative energy. You do not want to tell someone “I just got promoted at the office” and the person replies “Oh, nice, I’m sure if I worked in your office, I would have been promoted a long time ago”. That can easily make your amazing experience no longer feel as amazing and make it difficult for you to maintain your happiness.

Uh… Please try not to be this person.

 

People who want to remind you of “before”

You did an amazing job working out this week and you lost 20 pounds. You tell your friend Violet and she says “Oh, good, because I remember when you were 400 pounds, you do not want to go back to those times, do you?”

Uhm…. Violet, why? Why can’t you just be happy for your friend {by the way, I just used a random name}.

Tell her she did great and keep it moving.

 

People who cannot get themselves to do anything other than give advice

You tell someone you bought a new car and they want to write out a manual for you. Can you tell me the car is nice or at least smile and say “that’s cool”?

You know this kind of people. They are the ones you call on the phone to tell you just gave birth and they spend an hour talking to you about all the things you need to do to make sure the baby does not die. What?! Why would you even talk about death?

**awkward silence**

 

I only talked about 4 but I’m sure there are more. Let me know if you can think of any. This post may have helped paint a picture and made you see that you sometimes act like the people mentioned above. Now, you can make an effort to change and say hey better me! 🙂

 

276 not 234

I waited to write this post because I hoped and prayed it would be over soon and then I could write about the triumph instead. However, it’s been three weeks since this horrific incident. A lot of you probably know, but we need to continue talking about it.

It has been widely spread that 234 girls were abducted. However, recent news state that 276 and not 234 girls were abducted from Chibok Secondary School in Borno State, Nigeria. Bear in mind that these 276 girls were abducted from one school. So, imagine 276 girls being abducted from a school in the city you’re living. How crazy is that?  How is it that even after all this time, the government is still not able to make a concrete accurate public declaration of what is being done to find the girls? This is so sad. Nigeria is my home but I will be just as enraged if this happened in any other part of the world.

Since the abduction, the government claims that 43 girls have managed to escape. We cannot be too sure of this because the story has changed so many times since the occurrence. This is not the first time this sort of incident has occurred. The Taliban is known to attack girls’ schools. In fact, Joseph Kony, who has been charged by the International Criminal Court with crimes against humanity, abducted 139 girls from boarding schools in Uganda in 1996 and he is still at large.

It took this abduction to get the media involved. Boko Haram, the terrorist organization holding these girls, has been committing several horrifying acts, especially in the Northern parts of Nigeria, and nothing major has been done to stop them. These acts by Boko Haram have been done to ostensibly stop Western Education which is said to oppose Islamic tradition.

We may not be able to physically save these girls but what we can do is talk. Our voice is our power and if everyone is talking about this, we increase the likelihood that something will be done about it. So, do more research about this incident and talk about it on social media using the hashtag #bringbackourgirls. If you are a global citizen [something I continually strive to be] who is altruistic enough to care about not just the citizens of your country but the human race, you will agree that these are Our girls. So let’s start talking and say hey better me!

OMG!!! Thank you so much

I am so excited that I was nominated for the Liebster Award. I want to say a very big THANK YOU to Karuna who has been so kind to me in both words and actions. Please check out her blog http://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/

Here are the rules for those who are nominated and want to participate in the Liebster award process:

• Post the award on your blog
• Thank the blogger who presented the award to you and link back to their blog
• Share 11 things about yourself
• Answer the 11 questions given to you by the person that nominated you
• Nominate 11 bloggers who have less than 200 followers
• Create 11 questions for your nominees to answer
• Notify your nominees by posting your nomination on their blog

11 things about me

Snoopy got my body hurting

Ouch!! So, yesterday, some of my friends and I went horseback riding. It was the very first time I had ridden a horse and like most of the things I have done, the most difficult part was starting. I was so scared to get on the horse; don’t get me wrong, I really wanted to, but I kept thinking… what if the horse throws me down and I break my back. Yeah, I agree with you, I am a little paranoid… okay, maybe more than a little. Anyway, I got a lot more comfortable once I got the hang of it. As you may have guessed, the horse I rode was called Snoopy. I have to admit that I had a lot of fun with her… Now, I can cross out “learn how to ride a horse” from my bucket list life’s To-Do List. I feel a little weird calling it a Bucket List. Again, with the paranoia! By the way, I am working on it.

You probably have a list like that with all the things you’ll love to do while you’re alive. You may have it written down or saved in your mind’s box. Wherever it is, get it out and clean off the dust; it’s time to start crossing things out.

You may think you have a lot of time left, that’s very optimistic. And, I promise, I do not wish to burst your bubble, but you may not have as much time as you think. And, even if you do, other things may come up. So, pick something you have always wanted to do and DO IT! Live a little or maybe a little more than a little. We all have our universe, our little dome of everything we are with directions of where we are headed. And, every time you do something new, you enlarge your dome and broaden your future.

I get it, you’re busy, but if you wait for time, you may never get it. The thing about time is it keeps moving and only stops when we’ve exhausted it. I’ll love to hear about things you crossed off your list. Take pictures, blog about it, post it (using #heybetterme) on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram… wherevergram… That way, you can look back at it and say hey better me!

“The Mimi Rod”: The woman who pees standing

I was recently thinking back to when I was a little younger and I remember my mom saying “When a man pees standing, he is not stained; however, if a woman does the same, she is soiled”. When she said it, I considered what she said at a very shallow level. Now that I am a little grown, I realize a deeper meaning to it. Men can mess around and it doesn’t even affect them but if a woman does the same, people ask… “She a mess or nah?!”

You all know about the “Mimi rod”, right? News about Mimi’s misadventure is floating everywhere.  I’m looking at my Instagram thinking what’s all this craze about shower rods? Then, I heard about it from someone who heard from someone who heard from someone who watches Love and Hip-hop. What is going on??? Why does Mimi think that’s okay? I do not share entertainment news so I cannot give you the story in detail but if you would like to know about it from someone whose writing style is enhanced with her humorous remarks, click on this link: Luvvie tells you about Mimi Faust’s Sex tape

All I hear is Mimi, no one is talking about Nikko. “Double Standard” is a bitter truth. Even though I do not believe that males should be treated differently from females, I strongly believe that women should regard themselves at a different standard. So, don’t pee standing, women, everyone doesn’t have to know your business. Instead, say hey better me!!

Letting go of “my precious”

Have you seen or read “the Lord of the Rings?” It’s a tale of a hobbit who is given a mission to destroy an evil ring, commonly called “my precious” by Smeagol. This ring entices the hobbit, Frodo, so much that it almost consumes him. Frodo knew that the ring was evil; in fact, he saw how it had destroyed Smeagol; however, he found it very difficult to let go of the ring.

Most of us have a ring like that, something we know is bad for us but we just cannot let go of: that bowl of ice-cream the doctor said we should avoid because we are becoming obese, that abusive boyfriend or girlfriend we think we cannot do without… Whatever your ring is, it’s time you let it go because it will hinder you in this journey towards self-love.

So, Merrilyn, how do I let it go, you may ask. Firstly, get others involved. When I say others, I’m not talking about that “friend” who only calls you to gossip. I am talking about people who have constantly proved to you that they have your best interest at heart. Frodo had Sam, a friend who helped him gather enough strength to let go of the ring. Look for your Sam; it could be your mom, counselor, best friend, sibling, teacher, etc. Let them help you, but do not rely on just the help they give you. In addition, seek the help of a stronger person or organization that is familiar with people who have rings like yours. Frodo sought the help of Gandelf, the great wizard. This person or organization is vital because they can plot you a map of how to get rid of your ring. Now, when they plot you that map, you have to use it!

When you gather the strength and you finally destroy the ring [I know you would], do not look back. Frodo cast his into a fire. You probably can’t cast yours into a fire, so make a list in your journal or phone of all the reasons you decided to get rid of the ring. Whenever you consider looking back, look at that list.

Remember, you are a strong individual who is fully capable of doing whatever you set your mind to! Say hey better me!

They do not understand me so I’ll shut up

I felt prompted to write this blog post after a conversation I had with a freshman in school. I am one of the evaluators in an activity she is part of and she had a question for me. What she asked me took me by surprise but after about an hour of pondering on the subject, I realized I had this same question a while back. She asked me, “Will I be marked down because of my accent?” The first thing that came to my mind was “WHAT?!?! Why would you even think that?” I answered her however and explained everything I am about to explain to you.

Just as we should never discriminate against people because of their race, we should not discriminate against them because of the way they speak. Let’s fight against “accentism”! One of the professors in my school once said, “I know you (the students in the class) do not understand my accent but there are accents worse than mine”. I was dazed and angered by this statement. Is there anyone else who agrees with me when I say no accent is better or worse than the other?

I am a Nigerian and I speak like one. When I first got to the United States, because I was socialized to believe that the American accent is superior to the Nigerian accent, I refused to share my thoughts on subjects in class. There were so many times I knew the answer to a question but I shut up because I did not want to be laughed at. Because of this deprivation, I felt displaced anger towards the people who I believed did not understand me. “How could they not?” I sometimes asked myself. I have since learned that we do not understand things we are not familiar with. It does not make them bad, it just means we have to try harder to understand them. In other words, if there is someone whose accent you do not understand, try harder to understand them. Remember, the world is a global village and you will meet a lot of unfamiliar people. In case you were wondering, I no longer feel the way I talked about earlier and I hope if you feel this way, you no longer do after reading this post.

Be confident and love yourself. In loving yourself completely, you make it possible for other people to love you. Say “Hey Better Me!!”